Forgiveness

Sometimes I really struggle with the whole forgiveness thing. I want justice served on those that wrong or hurt me, and yet… I pray every day for God to just wipe clean the slate of my transgressions. Most of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, have secret strongholds (maybe not so secret) where we cry out for justice, accountability, payback, and punishment. Maybe it’s that neighbor who is threatening and cruel. Often it’s someone in the news that has done something that deeply offends us (take your pick: O. J. Simpson, the mother of the octuplets, a star with a drug problem, and on and on). It could be a spouse that cheated on you, or perhaps it’s the arsonist that burned down your whole neighborhood in the recent fires.

And yet, Jesus didn’t just teach us about forgiveness, he tells us over and over, and in no uncertain terms, that it is imperative that we forgive everyone who sins against us! It might be safe to assume that almost every Christian knows the Lord’s Prayer. It’s in Matthew 6:9-13 just in case you need to look it up. In verse 12, we are taught to pray:

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,”

Immediately following the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus makes the following very strong admonition:

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15

But our nature is to hold that grudge. Collectively, we cry out: “That two-timing cheater destroyed our marriage; you have no idea deeply how he hurt me!” “That drunkard killed my wife and 3 children and didn’t even get a scratch; he killed me, too, that day!” “That teacher’s offhand remark caused the whole auditorium to explode in laughter, and the humiliation made me want to die; I’ll hate her forever!”

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16

Jesus has paid the price, so that we might have forgiveness for ALL our sins. In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35), however, Jesus again shows us that even though we have been forgiven, we cannot expect to be saved if we withhold forgiveness from others. The parable ends with the unmerciful servant being turned over to the jailors to be tortured until all of his debt was paid (which would be never), and Jesus once again warning us:

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:35

Jesus tells us that we have a choice: Be unforgiving and stay in bondage to sin, and ultimately be cast out, or be forgiving and be free, and… be saved. That’s pretty heavy. I have to forgive everybody? That’s what Jesus teaches us. Imagine the world if all Christians actually started to grant forgiveness from their hearts, rather than be unforgiving… which leads to hate… which leads to more sin. Jesus didn’t just teach forgiveness, he lived it. As he was being crucified on the cross, he cried out:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:34

Most of the time, I don’t know what I am doing; I don’t know when I offend, or hurt, or wound people. I don’t mean to, but I’m sure it happens, because it happens to me. Every day, I pray the Lord’s Prayer, and I ask God’s Holy Spirit to fill my wounds with forgiveness, and then that forgiveness begins to fill my heart. Sometimes it takes a lot of prayer, and sometimes… I don’t want to let go of some hurt; I don’t want to forgive. In those times, I find that spending time in God’s Word, connecting with God through Scripture, helps me to let go of the anger, or hurt, or frustration, and to really begin to forgive from my heart.

I was trying to come up with a prayer to ask for a forgiving heart. What I got, instead, was inspiration for this poem (who says prayers can’t rhyme?):

Each lash upon your bleeding back,
Was a lash you bore for me.
Each thorn, each nail, each drop of blood,
My sins… on Calvary.

You suffered there, upon that cross,
And you died that I might live.
You rose, and want a walk with me;
Jesus… teach me… to forgive.

Anybody else ever have a problem forgiving someone? Is there something you feel you will never be able to forgive? How did you manage to forgive someone who had done something unforgivable? Was God involved? How was God involved? How did you feel after really forgiving that person?

Hmmm… this is a lot to chew on. I suspect I’ve only scratched the scratch on the scratch on the scratch of this topic. Share your thoughts. Let’s hear from you. I always find your comments to be much more inspired than my musings.

Your brother in Christ,

Dave