For most of us, these demanding people come in an astonishing number of personas. They are parents, siblings, spouses, children, co-workers, church members, neighbors, and even complete strangers. These often well-meaning folks usually pressure us with a fairly effective weapon. The club they swing most often is: GUILT.
A difficult thing to remember is that God directs and guides us with love, NOT guilt. People are busy whacking away at each other with guilt, but mostly to get you to do something they want. Or they want you to act or conform to a certain expectation.
Now I KNOW that God has blessed me with an abundance of gifts; both physical and spiritual. I’m also quite aware that God hasn’t blessed me with EVERY gift. Just as I know that I’m not gifted as a jockey or basketball player, I know that I’m also not gifted as a caregiver or a chef.
Here’s an important tip: we all don’t have the same gifts!
What are your gifts? It’s often easier to discern your physical gifts than your spiritual ones. In the past, I might have encouraged you to develop your gifts. And there’s nothing wrong with developing your gifts, but I believe that there’s plenty of evidence that God will fill you with giftedness when you are involved in the plans he has for you. Besides the example of Moses and all the Prophets, take a look at Jeremiah 1:6-10. Listen to where God might be leading you.
And remember: you don’t like it when somebody dumps a load of guilt on you (I know I sure don’t). So resolve to lay guilt aside. Don’t use it against anyone, and don’t let anybody use it against you. The God of the universe yearns for an intimate relationship with you. Celebrate the plans God has for your life… how YOU are part of God’s plan, and celebrate… and share… your gifts!
Your brother in Christ,
Dave
Thanks for this one, Dave. I would also add "fear" to guilt. The Bible tells us to "fear not" over and over. Jesus never used fear to influence those around him. I think all of us, especially those who have power over others, should resolve to avoid the use of fear and the use of guilt. Both of these "motivators" have short-lived use and, I think, ultimately work against the one who uses them as well as those who are on the receiving end of this kind of "influence."
ReplyDeleteClaire Palmerino
I agree with Claire, that the use of guilt and fear is counter-productive. It may work for a short while, but the result is resentment, negativity, and certainly not edification. This doesn't help the person who wants something done their way in the long run, and it *certainly* doesn't edify the person who lives under such expectations. We are free!!! That's not to say shirk responsibility. One of my pastors, who has known me since I was in high school, has often told me that certain things my family wanted weren't my responsibility or my fight, and by not doing it I wasn't shirking my responsibility. So the person is not happy with me; the question is whether I am trying to please people or to please God.
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