The Dash

I know that many of the recent posts have been about a similar theme, and today’s post is more of the same, but the Spirit is leading me down this path so I trust that God has a purpose behind all of this.

Today, I attended a memorial service at Our Savior Lutheran Church in Arcadia. The memorial was for the son of my wife’s cousin who had just recently died in Texas. He was only twenty-five. His name was Alex Edge; he died of a drug overdose.

I was moved while listening to Alex’s father, Dirck, overcome his emotions to tell of Alex’s life. In a few short minutes, he painted a picture of a brilliant young man who was an expert at motorcycle riding, who had a passionate love and talent for photography, and who was compassionate and caring to all who knew him. Last Wednesday, Alex’s friends put together a memorial service, and it was attended by over 150 young people. One of the comments was that Alex lived more in 25 years than most people could pack into 2 lifetimes!

Almost all of the family showed up: aunts and uncles, and the (for me) confusing tangle of all the cousins. Family orbits often tend to be separate, rather than to intersect much… except at funerals or memorials. Surprisingly, their grief is our grief. We all show up to lend our support, but there is little we can do, so we pray that our presence will somehow help Alex’s grieving parents, Dirck and Kim, and his younger brother, Evan.

Pastor Sonnenberg delivered an inspiring and uplifting message. He acknowledged that Alex struggled with problems. Then he looked out at all of us and said that every one of us also struggled with our own problems and sins. I can’t do his message justice, but it was centered on Romans 8:31-39:

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

He asked for Alex, but he asks for all of us when he said: “Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?” Then he answered for Alex, but he also answered for all of us when he confidently summarized: “Nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

In listening to all of Alex’s accomplishments, and the impact his life had on so many people, I was reminded of the beautiful poem by Linda Ellis:

The Dash
by Linda Ellis 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak,
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all,
Was the dash in between those years.

For the dash represents, all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And how only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters most is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough,
To consider what is true and real.
And always try to understand,
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
And how your spent your dash?

I was just thinking that even though Alex’s death is a tragedy for his family, his parents and his brother can be proud of the way he spent his dash… and confident of where he’s spending eternity!

Alexander Joseph Edge
December 4, 1983 - July 27, 2009

How’s your dash coming along?

Your brother in Christ,

Dave