A topic came up in a conversation this week. Before I get to the topic, I’m going to publish a disclaimer:
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The following is probably NOT about you!-------------------------------------------
Why the disclaimer? Well, the topic is one that could possible be sensitive to all of us, and more than a few will read on and take immediate umbrage. So before you decide to come after me with tar, feathers, and pitchforks… please re-read the disclaimer.
So what was the topic that might generate such outrage? It was pretty simple, and was asked in a moment of innocent frustration:
“Do people just get mean as they get older?”I happen to know that the question was asked because of somebody’s direct interaction with a few older folks, but it got me thinking. As a matter of fact, you may have asked yourself the same question at some time. Our language often describes older people as “old AND crotchety”. And we all know that crotchety is just another (somehow nicer?) term for “mean”.
As we began to discuss the topic further, I mentioned that much of it has to do with a person’s attitude, or personality. And that your personality is somewhat a product of your upbringing, your environment, and other forces that mold your development. I was immediately jumped on with the following observations and questions:
“That’s true enough for a child, but can’t we choose how we treat people when we become adults?”
Some of the traits and attitudes we learn as children can be very difficult to put aside as adults. Look at racism! A child growing up in a household that only sees the negative in life will most likely only see the negative in life, too. But full up negativity and meanness are not well tolerated by society in general, so people learn to wear masks. They wear masks to fit in, to get what they want, and to avoid being social outcasts. Most people do pretty well keeping their masks on, until… death takes most of their friends… old age, disease, and infirmity rob them of their mobility and independence… or they are beset by constant pain. Since most of these things usually don’t occur until we are well along in years, it’s not all that unusual for older people to be the ones we most notice dropping their masks.
We all wear our masks. Let me say that again: We ALL wear our masks! The Bible says that none of us are perfect. Actually, the Bible puts it this way:
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
1 John 1:8
Just substitute “mask”… or “baggage”… or “chains” for the word “sin”. Charles Dickens made it simple to understand in his story “The Christmas Carol”. The masks of old Jacob Marley have all fallen away because he is dead. What’s left, what haunts Ebenezer Scrooge, is the ghost of Jacob Marley… wrapped in chains, and weighed down with his own heavy baggage. And just like Scrooge, if you point out their meanness (sin) they deny it and get angry. It seems that more of 1 John applies here:
“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”
John 1:5-10
As we have found at Messiah, it is important, not just to walk in the light, but to be in fellowship with one another, so that the blood of Jesus can purify us from sin. In fellowship, I see caring and sharing as our brothers and sisters age. I do not see mean and petty attitudes. Instead, I see attitudes of joy, and love, and service.
As I age, I pray that I can keep my eyes off of myself. I pray that I can continue to focus on running the race that God has set before me. Rather than demand attention, how can I help someone else? My sins, my masks, and my chains can only be removed in that fellowship with Jesus Christ. If I’m demanding, and harsh, and critical, and mean, I’m walking in darkness… even if I claim fellowship with Jesus. The good news is that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. To get back on track toward God, we need look no further than the words on our fountain:
“Love God - Love One Another.”
Disclaimer #2:
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Before you print this out to give to an aging parent, grandparent, co-worker, or acquaintance… consider printing a copy for yourself… you might need to re-read this yourself in 20 or 30 years (maybe much sooner).-------------------------------------
Your brother in Christ,
Dave