Discipline

My little grandson, Jeffrey, is a huge blessing in my life. I know that I may be a tiny bit biased in his favor, but you have to expect some of that from grandfathers. As he is approaching the age of two, he is developing a stronger will. Couple that will with his insatiable curiosity and a desire to “have it” and “do it” himself, and he has the ingredients for a tantrum from time to time.

By the way, this picture of a child having a tantrum came off the internet. I thought about keeping my camera at the ready to get some shots of Jeffrey pitching a fit, but then I thought of all the women in Jeffrey’s life (his mother, aunt, grandmother, and great grandmother). I imagined them chasing me down to tar and feather me… just because I posted an unflattering picture of my little grandson on the internet. With those images in my mind, a stock photo of some anonymous child seemed like a wise course of action. Besides, as a grandfather, I was finding it difficult to shoot any unflattering images of my precious grandson.

My office is located off my bedroom; really just a glorified closet. Since it is the repository for magical props, mobile-making paraphernalia, computer equipment, tons of books, product inventory, and years of packrat activity, it is off-limits to Jeffrey unless he is with his Pop-pop. The other day, my daughter (Jennifer; Jeffrey’s mom) was using the computer in my office. I was in the bedroom with Jeffrey when he decided that he wanted to go into the office.

“Go in,” he said.

“No… not without Pop-pop,” I replied.

With a defiant look on his face, he marched into the office, anyway. I was right next to him, so I picked him up, patiently explained that he could not go into Pop-pop’s office without Pop-pop, and set him back down in the bedroom where he could still see his mother. This scenario replayed itself twice more, with the third strike resulting in banishment from the bedroom. All this meant was that I took him out to the hall and closed the bedroom door. I was still with him, he had the run of the rest of the house and his toys, books, and stuffed animals, but because he was not getting what he wanted, he threw himself down in the hall and screamed… and screamed… AND SCREAMED!

Two year-olds have a true gift for throwing tantrums, and although Jeffrey is a wonderfully sweet, intelligent, and easy-going child, I think he was trying to prove how really well rounded he is by producing an epic tantrum. I sat in the hall with him, but that didn’t stem the tide of tears, or calm the screaming. Jennifer finished what she was doing quickly, but when she came out, shutting the bedroom door behind her, he began to pick up steam. Inconsolable is a word that springs to mind.

Since it was nearing his bedtime, she began to ready his bath. Usually, he loves bath-time, but not while in the throes of a category 5 tantrum. Jennifer, however, is amazing. Through the screaming, and struggling, and crying, she lifted him up, got him into the bath, washed his hair (which he dislikes even on good days), snuggled him in a towel, and dressed him in his pajamas… all the while speaking her love. Softly and gently, over and over, she cooed to him: “It’s OK, baby… it’s alright.” He never really calmed down until she was reading to him just before he went to bed.

A two year-old can’t understand all the reasons something is off-limits. They don’t even know how the dangerous things that attract them can hurt them or kill them. They want what THEY want! They assert their willfulness and let us know, in no uncertain terms, with their toddler mantra: “Want it… do it.” Children often cannot grasp the bigger picture, and protest loudly against any discipline that conflicts with their “want it… do it” philosophy. During the “terrible two’s” this often results in a tantrum.

In disciplining Jeffrey, we weren’t harming him in any way. Indeed, we merely removed him from what had proven to be too great a temptation for him. It was definitely NOT what Jeffrey wanted, but discipline is training that will help him to develop self-control and character.

I had to wonder how many times in my life I had acted like a two year-old with God? How many times had I pitched a fit at God because I wasn’t getting my way? How often had I only seen God as denying me, and not see the loving discipline that protected me and built self-control and character?

When the disciples of Jesus asked him how they should pray to God, he didn’t give them a magical chant. Instead, he gave them a set of instructions on how they should discipline themselves: The Lord’s Prayer. The disciplines of the Lord’s Prayer are simple:

1. Keep your thoughts of God and the use of God’s name holy and pure.
2. Submit yourself to God’s will for your life.
3. Understand that God is the creator and sustainer of the universe; trust God to provide.
4. Love one another and forgive one another, as God loves and forgives you.
5. Submit to God’s discipline to develop self-control and character.
6. Trust in God in times of trial.
7. Acknowledge that God is the Lord of your life.

Think about The Lord’s Prayer. Where do you need to discipline yourself? Have you ever thought about this prayer that Jesus taught us to pray in this way?

And think about one more thing…

When we throw our tantrums at God…
When we are selfish, self-centered, demanding, unforgiving, unbelieving, or profane…
When we are completely wrapped up in our own “want it… do it” philosophy…
When we are whining and crying and screaming at God…

God has you wrapped in His embrace, softly whispering: “It’s OK, my precious child… it’s alright… I love you.”

Your brother in Christ,

Dave